those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize