How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Mom said you looked used
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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