Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize