this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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