the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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