TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
