walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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