I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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