Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
