are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can feel your judgement through the phone
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
