Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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