i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
