her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
