I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have aggressive nipples.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
