New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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