She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Houston, we have a squirter
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
