Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
