i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
