Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
