Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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