When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
only if we run a train.
done.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
