I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize