what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you win again, gameday.
two words: eviction party
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
