i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
