drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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