I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
