I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
