I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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