The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
