I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just had sex on a roof
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
