nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
