dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
