I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
