Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
