You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
