Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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