U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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