Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
