If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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