I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize