New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
