do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
