I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
