I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
