no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
