Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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