Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
