im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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