So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
