So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
