I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
