Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
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I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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