How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
whose ass print is on the piano?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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