Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
