He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
that may or may not have been my penis.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
