Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
