i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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