all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
