I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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