Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
