I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
