she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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